How To Make Beautiful Bridesmaids...
You might remember this:
Bree: "So what do you think?"
Susan, Lynette and Gabrielle are standing in front of Bree wearing matching lime green bridesmaid dresses with orange sashes.
Susan: "Well, I'm not sure that I've ever seen this shade of green before."
Bree: "Yeah, don't you think it will be gorgeous with my colouring?"
Gabrielle: "Yes, it would look perfect."
Lynette (under her breath): "For someone with your colouring."
It’s a scene from the hit
But imagine if they had kept quiet for fear of hurting Bree’s feelings? It’s a common mistake to choose dresses that match your colouring, rather than those of the bridesmaids who actually have to wear them. And a bride can remain in blissful ignorance until the miserable expressions on the bridesmaids faces in the photos finally give the game away, and remain a painful reminder for evermore.
But it’s not just the dresses that need careful thought. A bridesmaid can play a vital role in the whole process. So to avoid the pitfalls (and the possibility of a ruined friendship!) here are our top tips for making the most of your bridesmaids.
Too many cooks?
How many bridesmaids should you have? The answer is as many or as few as you wish. Some traditionalists like to see the same amount of bridesmaids as groomsmen, but nowadays, it’s not so important. Generally, the bigger the wedding, the more bridesmaids there are. Eight bridesmaids, three page boys and two flower girls might look a bit excessive in your local register office, whereas your only sister will look a bit insignificant at the front of Durham Cathedral. Of course, more means more expense and more organisation. Logistically, it can be pretty challenging to find dresses to suit everyone, never mind organising shoes, hair and make-up. Also, think about the fittings you’ll have to arrange, particularly if people are travelling from other parts of the country. You also need to think about reception seating arrangements. Can the top table accommodate all your bridesmaids? If not, who’s going to be relegated to a standard table?
Chief Bridesmaid
Most people like to choose a chief bridesmaid, she’s the one in charge of your wedding day entourage. She can be very useful, so make sure you choose someone reliable and with bags of common sense. She’s your right-hand woman, and ought to carry emergency supplies of things like make-up, tissues, stockings, hairgrips, tampons, and sweets for fretful little ones. She’ll also make sure your veil is straight, your train is fanned out and will hold your flowers when needed.
It’s a good idea to take her advice first when choosing your bridesmaids outfits, before you take your ideas to the others. She can also be a good ally to help smooth out disagreements between you and your parents or in-laws. And she is the one who is likely to take the lead in organising your hen-do, so make sure she knows your absolute do’s and don’ts.
Talk to them
For the dresses, find out styles and colours that suit them. And take different ages into account. That Little Bo Peep number might look gorgeous on your two-year-old niece, but put your 18-year-old sister in it too and she’ll never forgive you. Think of them as individuals, rather than a group. Remember, it’s perfectly OK for different bridesmaids to wear different styles of dresses and even different colours, as long as they complement you.
And talking of children…
The little ones definitely generate the ‘Aaah’ factor, and do look really sweet. But the very young can be temperamental and stubborn – and if Mum or Dad are not nearby, they might get upset. Be prepared for things not going entirely to plan. Enlist the help of the parents, or an older bridesmaid they know, in getting them ready. And during the service, seat their parents near the front and where they can be seen, as the children might want to sit with them. Children also have very short attention spans, so make sure they get their photos taken first.
Show me the money…
It’s really important that the bridesmaids know early on if they will be expected to contribute any money towards their own outfit. Let them know if they’re expected to pay for the dresses themselves, or to make a contribution towards extras like shoes, bags, jewellery, make-up and hair. If you would like them to pay, bear in mind that they might not have a bottomless pit of disposable income.
Tricky Relationships
Who you choose could affect your relationship with certain people for the rest of your life. If you ignore your sister-in-law who’s been dropping hints for the past six months, how might that affect your relationship with your future mother-in-law? Sometimes, being a bit diplomatic now could pay dividends in the long run. But if being forced to select someone you can’t stand will ruin your day, then don’t do it. Weigh up all the pros and cons before you make a final decision. Of course, you can always allocate tricky people certain roles. Your husband’s sister could do a reading, your stepdaughter could be a flower girl, and your nephew the ring bearer.
Finally…
The better your bridesmaids look, the better they make you look!